Is It My Fault?
by attempt-at-sarcasm
Summary: Winry's side of the beginning of the Elric brother's story. One shot.


**So this is my very first attempt at writing a fic. I really like Fullmetal Alchemist and I thought it would be fun to try it with this. Not the most original idea I'm sure but I hope that you still enjoy it. I would love criticism but please be gentle. Thanks for reading :)**

"Human transmutation?"

"Yes."

"Isn't that against the law?"

"Maybe."

"You guys are crazy." Winry said shaking her head.

"Winry, could you please keep it down?" Al chimed in for the first time.

The three children were all sitting together in a fort they built in Winry's basement. The figured this was the only way for them to keep Winry's Grandmother from hearing what they wanted to discuss.

"Winry, we've lived here long enough. Al and I have to do _something_." Ed whispered exasperated.

"But breaking the law? Couldn't you just get a job?"

"We miss our mom." Al said sadly.

"But-"

"No." Ed replied.

Winry hugged her dog, Den, to her chest. "Can't you please just listen to me?"

"No. You're going to try to talk us out of it." Ed groaned.

"Of course I am! You're being stupid!"

"Winry, you know how it feels to lose you parents. Wouldn't you do anything to get them back?"

"Yes but Ed, isn't this too far? When someone's dead they're dead. There's no getting them back."

"Look, all Al and I are asking is that you don't tell Pinako what we're up to. She'll try to stop us if she finds out."

"You really shouldn't though."

"Please, Winry."

"Why are you even telling me?"

"You're our best friend," Al cut in, " We wanted you to know."

"Also we need help getting some of the ingredients." Ed added.

"Guys-" Winry moaned.

"Please!" They whispered in union.

 _What's the harm? I mean, if it works, they get their mom back, right? Isn't that good? Would I do something like this for my parents? But they are breaking the law. Grammy would kill me if I got caught up in that._

"Ok, listen, I will lend you some of the money I've saved from helping Grammy to get the ingredients you need."

"Thank you!" Ed nearly shouted.

"Shhh!" Al warned.

Ed smiled sheepishly at Al, "Thank you so much, Winry."

"You guys are still crazy," She said, "I'm tired. I'm gonna go to bed."

"Can we sleep down here, together?" Al asked.

The other two children looked at him. "If Ed and I get our mom back, we'll probably go back to living at home with her. This will be the last time we all live in the same house."

Ed and Winry smiled and the three of them built up a nest of pillows and blankets for them to sleep in. Pinako came down and wished them all a good night. The three of them sat up laughing and joking with each other for another few hours before finally drifting off to sleep.

Ed woke up first. He saw Winry curled up next to Den and shook her awake.

"Winry," He whispered, "Wake up!"

Winry slowly opened her eyes and looked into Ed's gold ones. "What do you want?"

"Al and I need to go out early to get all of our ingredients."

"Oh." She still hadn't gotten up. Den slowly blinked his eyes as he looked at them curiously. Al breathed gently, still asleep.

"Come on!" He said.

She sighed, "Ok. Just give me a second."

After about five more minutes and insesent prodding from Ed, Winry finally got up and the two of them snuck into Winry's room, careful to not wake Pinako. Winry reached under her bed and pulled out a little box with some money in it. Pinako would give Winry some money whenever she helped out at work and around the house. Winry handed it all over to Ed.

"We'll pay you back as soon as we get the chance." Ed said reassuringly.

"You better." She took in Ed's serious face and felt herself soften, "Don't worry. I trust you, Ed."

It was late at night when she heard the knock. The rain was pouring down outside, thunder crashed and lightning lit up the sky. Her stomach had been in knots all day. Worrying that they might get caught breaking the law. Worrying that something bad might happened. She felt awful about lying to Pinako about the boys' whereabouts, but she promised them that she would keep what they were doing a secret. She wished she had made them promise to tell her what happens. She wished that she had told them that Pinako would notice that Trisha was suddenly alive again. She wished, guiltily, that she could bring back her own parents.

She was laying in her bed staring at the ceiling thinking about the boys when there was a knock at the door. She sat up. The first thing she thought was that the boys must have done it. They have come back, and brought the living Trisha with them.

She saw her Grammy turn on the light in the living room and got up out of bed. _How would Pinako react to seeing Trisha alive?_ A mix of fear and excitement turned in her stomach. She peaked out the door worried that Pinako might get angry with her once she learned her involvement.

Pinako opened the door… and Winry didn't understand what she was seeing. A suit of armor stood at the door. In it's arms was a small thing. It look like a lump of flesh, stained red everywhere. Pinako didn't move. A voice whispered out of the suit, Al's voice. It said, "Please. Help him." Before Winry knew what she was doing she had stepped out of her room and was approaching the door. The lump of flesh was moving. The red was dripping off of it onto the ground. It had an arm and a leg, but she couldn't see the other arm and leg. Why couldn't she see the other arm and leg. The lump had a face. As she came closer the face turned into Ed's face.

Everything that happened next turned into a blur. Running around, fetching everything Pinako asked her to fetch from all over the house. Mopping up blood. There was so much of it. She never knew so much blood could be in just one person.

After what felt like a lifetime, Pinako told Winry that she should go sit in the living room with Al. Al hadn't moved since he sat down. Winry sat on the couch next to him. She glanced over at him. _Is that really him?_ she thought. It didn't look alive.

"Al?" She practically whispered.

He turned his helmet slowly to look at her.

"Why are you wearing that?" She was afraid to hear the answer.

Al didn't answer at first. He just made a sound, it sounded like a sob but it came out of the suit sounding muffled. Finally he mumbled, "I'm not."

"What?"

"I'm not… wearing it."

"I don't understand. Al… What happened?"

"We…" Suddenly Al sobbed again. "We… tried the human transmutation."

Winry just look at him, tears burned in her eyes, even though she didn't understand what had happened. Didn't Ed say that everything was good? Didn't he say that it would work? What could have gone so wrong that Ed lost two limbs? Where was Trisha?

"We tried it but… something was missing. Equivalent Exchange needed more. So it… Oh Winry!" He cried, "It took… me. And… and Ed… his leg… and then… he gave his arm and…"

Tears began to flow down Winry's cheeks for Al. She still didn't understand what he was talking about, but the fact that he couldn't cry for himself just made her tears flow harder. She didn't understand any of what he had told her… but she had the awful suspicion that Al's suit of armor was empty.

She didn't remember falling asleep, but she remembered waking up to the sound of Ed crying out. He had been unconscious and making sounds since Al brought him to the house but she knew instantly that he was awake now. She got up off the couch and ran into the room Ed was in. Al was next to him holding his hand. Ed was crying. Al was crying. Tears were falling down her face before she even knew what was happening. She stood at the door watching the two of them.

Ed had to rest for a few days. Al refused to leave Ed alone. Pinako had Winry running errand after errand. Al Had told the two of them his version of what happened several times. Al made it clear that he was missing some very important parts of the story, but Pinako wanted to give Ed time to recover before talking to him. Pinako asked Al to explain everything. Even how they got the idea to do the transmutation. Al told her everything except for Winry's involvement.

After Pinako asked Al to tell it to her from the beginning for the third time, Winry went to her bedroom.

She felt herself crying again, that had been happening all the time recently. But it was because of what she was thinking right now. She was thinking about how AL hadn't told Pinako that she gave them the money. That she could have stopped them from doing this but she didn't. She gave in. If she hadn't given them the money, if she had told Pinako what they were doing, they would be ok, wouldn't they? She was the responsible one. She was always looking after those boys. How could she fail to take care of her best friends? She curled up into a ball on her bed and cried.

It was a few months later. Ed sat in a wheelchair in the living room. Al was sitting next to him petting Den. Ed had shut down since the transmutation. Winry felt like she was walking on eggshells every time she was around them. He guilt made her feel like she was drowning every time she had to look at Ed's dulled eyes, or Al's suit, or Ed's stumps. Every time she saw Al awkwardly pushing Ed in his wheelchair she felt like she couldn't breath.

They all sat together today, and tried to pretend everything was normal. Winry thought about asking them to go sit together in their fort but Al's suit is too big to fit inside and Ed wouldn't be able to bring his chair down into the basement.

There was a knock at the door. The three children plus Den all look up at the door. Al crept into a side room so that he would be out of sight. They didn't want the neighbors to find out about what had happened to him. Ed rolled himself out of the way. His injuries could be explained as an accident if anyone asked, but missing a whole body was harder to excuse.

Pinako wasn't home so Winry answered the door herself. It was a man and a woman. The woman had short blond hair and a calm expression on her face. The man looked stern and a little scary to Winry. They were both wearing military dress. She hid herself partly behind the door and said, "Pinako isn't home right, now."

"We aren't here for Pinako. Do you know where I can find Edward Elric?" The man asked with anger.

Winry closed the door a little more, "Why are you looking for him?"

"Do you know where we can find him?"

"He's a kid. Why are you looking for him?"

"He's not in any trouble." The woman behind him said.

"Then why is the military looking for him?" Winry replied sharply.

"Winry. Stop." Ed whispered from the back of the room.

They all still heard him. The man look once down at Winry then pushed the door open and shoved her out of the way. The light fell on Ed from the door. His eyes looked sunken in and he didn't even bother raising his head to look as the man. He was on Ed in a flash, the woman standing out of the way.

"What did you do?!" The man nearly screamed in anger.

Ed didn't move. He just stared down at the floor. The man grabbed Ed by the front of his shirt and pulled him up. Ed flopped like a rag doll.

"We went to your house! We saw! Do you understand what you've done?!" The man shouted, shaking Ed in an attempt to get a reaction. Ed was limp.

"LOOK AT ME!" The man shouted.

Winry watched as Al suddenly came out of hiding and grabbed the man's arm. The man looked at Al.

"Please. Put him down. We didn't know… We didn't mean it… We're sorry." Al said.

The man's jaw dropped. He lowered Ed back down onto his chair and mumbled, "You're…" He couldn't finish his sentence.

Winry wiped her eyes and felt fear claw at her stomach. She wish Pinako was here.

After several long moments of silence, Ed finally whispered with the slightest quiver to his voice, "Are you here to arrest me?"

The man took a deep breath and look down at the boy, "No," He sighed, "No, I just want to talk to you."

"Who are you?" Al asked for his brother.

"I am Lieutenant Colonel Mustang. Can I talk to the two of you, in private?"

"No you most certainly cannot," They all turned around to see Pinako standing in the doorway holding a bag of groceries, "How dare you break into my house and harass these children."

"I assume you're Pinako." Mustang said.

"And I assume you are a dog of the military." Pinako said.

"I think it is best that the three of us sit down and talk. Do you have somewhere we can all sit?"

Pinako gave the Lieutenant Colonel a hard look before she finally answered, "In here." She lead him into the dinning room, Al pushed Ed in there behind him. Winry looked up at the woman left in the room with her.

"You can sit down." WInry said, "I'll be right back." And ran into the kitchen to make tea (really she just wanted to try to eavesdrop). She couldn't hear much from the kitchen, she was able to pick up on Mustang saying he was looking for a powerful alchemist (that was Ed) and then some stuff about the military. It almost sounded like he was trying to recruit Ed.

Before she could hear more the tea was done. She brought it out to the woman in the living room.

"Do you want some?" She asked politely.

"Yes, thank you." The woman replied just as politely.

They sat in silence for a few moments listening to the mumbled sounds of conversation in the dining room. Finally the woman spoke, "My name is Riza. Riza Hawkeye."

"I'm Winry."

"Are you good friends with Edward?"

"He and Al and my best friends."

They were quiet again for a moment then Winry asked, "Are you recruiting Ed for the military?"

"Maybe," Riza replied, "I'm not entirely sure."

"He's good at alchemy."

"He seems broken, though."

Winry looked at her, "He is." Her eyes stung, "But I'm going to try to fix him."

Riza smiled. They group emerged from the room just then.

"Hawkeye, lets go." Mustang turned to Ed, "You have the number of my office, only call if it's an emergency."

And they were gone, just like that. Winry looked to them all.

"What happened?" She asked with desperation.

Pinako looked over at Ed, but Al was already rolling them away to their room. "He need to think about it right now." she said.

"About joining the military?" Winry asked

Pinako nodded.

For a few days, Ed and Al kept to themselves. They talked in hushed tones and were clearly weighing their options. Winry wished she could help. She wished they would talk to her about what was going on. She felt useless and guilty and afraid.

After a week of that, Ed and Al finally emerged. They came into the kitchen where Pinako and Winry were sitting eating lunch.

Ed glanced up at Al, who nodded encouragingly, and Ed finally said, "I'm going to need you to make me an arm and a leg."

Winry walked over to him, "You're going to do it? Join the military?"

"If I do," he said hesitantly, "Maybe I can fix Al. Can you do it Pinako?"

"I want to do it." Winry said with desperation. They all looked at her. She helped Pinako with her work all the time but she never built anything on her own. However she realized that this was her chance, her only way to even try to make up for not saving them.

"I want to do it." She repeated. She was very surprised with what happened next. Ed laughed. His face broke into a smile and he laughed, "Ok. You do it. But you better do a good job. I'm going to be fighting."

She felt guilty and she was afraid for him to go away to the military but she knew that if she could do just a little something to help them, that if she could fix Ed, it might be ok. Ed would always have a piece of her everywhere he went. He would have a reminder of home and of her and of their little family here.

 **Ok… so this was kind of long. I hope that you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing:)**


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